We were on our way back from the coworking in Bali, after the day’s work, when Luka told me about this conversation he’d had with his taxi-scooter.
The kind of conversation that gives you a moment of realisation. The kind that you think about regularly and that, even months later, still sends shivers down your spine.
It makes you want to save the world, but also reminds you that you can’t be everywhere.
It reminds you of a key point: you’re going to have to choose what you want to put your energy into.
So, here’s what happened.
We arrived in Bali a few weeks ago.
At around 10pm, we headed back from our coworking session to our hostel in Canggu. With Luka and Max, we each take a Grab (taxi-scotter). As we arrive, Luka says to me
“Dude, I’ve just had the most amazing conversation with my Grab, it’s spine-chilling, but I’ve got to tell you.
He’s our age, with a wife and a baby son. His wife looks after the child all day, so he’s the only one who can work.
The problem is that his child can’t drink his wife’s milk, so they buy him special powdered milk, which is expensive.
As he’s the only one who can work, he has to get up at 6am every morning, to do Grab from 6am to 2pm, then work as a gardener in a villa from 2pm to 6pm, then again as a Grab driver from 6pm to 1am. By the time he gets home and eats, he sleeps 4 hours a night.
And as milk is expensive, it takes up half of his salary.
With the other half, he pays for everything else, including food and accommodation, so the three of them live in a 4 square metre flat.
When he dropped me off when he arrived, I gave him everything I had left in my wallet”.
Hearing someone who is so unlucky, and yet gives so much of themselves every day, because they have no other choice, puts your feet back on the ground, and makes you think.
The first thought may be that you feel bad, because you have a chance that he doesn’t have.
That was my case.
But when you take the time and step back a bit, I also think there’s a positive side to it.
The situation is the way it is and you’re not going to change it, at least not right now.
The real question is, now that you know this, what does it make you realise? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to change, in your vision, in your way of seeing and doing things, in your actions?
For me, it made me realise two things
• I’m incredibly lucky to be able to travel and discover the world.
Travelling means changing your environment.
It means discovering countries, landscapes and cultures, taking photos and videos all the way, for yourself and for others. To have crazy memories to look back on later: because you never remember everything, but when you see them again, those memories and all their emotions will come flooding back.
It’s very beautiful.
But I don’t think that’s the most beautiful, the most important thing.
Once you get past what I think is the wow effect and the instagrammability, travelling is all about meeting people.
It’s about discovering different mentalities, ways of thinking and living.
Realising that sometimes it’s those who you think have the least who share the most.
By talking to locals and other travellers alike, you realise what counts, what comfort is, and that it’s by going where it’s less comfortable that you discover things that really make you think, and grow.
It’s often by sacrificing a little comfort that you have the most enriching experience, simply because it’s the furthest from what you’re used to.
Sometimes this also makes you feel powerless at the time.
You realise that you have a chance that others don’t have, and that you can’t help everyone.
This brings me to my second realisation.
• This opportunity I have also comes with a duty
Because I’m lucky enough to have the life I have, and because those who aren’t so lucky give it their all, I also have a duty – even more so – to do my best.
I have to do my best, every day, for :
• My relationships: with my friends, my family, the people I meet and those I can help, as well as those I work with.
• Myself: physically and mentally, to feel good, and try to achieve as much as possible, both personally and mentally.
Is it easy?
Not always, but it has to be done.
Why do I have to do it?
Because if in my situation I don’t give my all, it would be a lack of respect for the guy who gives 2000% because he has no choice.
So what does doing my best mean?
I don’t know if there’s ONE answer, I don’t think so, at least I don’t have it, but for me it means several things.
It means getting out of my house, discovering new things, meeting people, talking and learning from others, and helping them however I can.
It means really being there, when I’m with other people. Listening to them, taking an interest, asking questions and trying to create a positive environment for everyone.
It means trying new things, new activities, to discover, to discover myself, and to do sport.
Also doing my best professionally. Finding a field that interests me and producing the best work I can.
So, obviously, there are lots of things, the list is probably endless, but I think it’s mainly a state of mind.
I think it’s the difference between comfort and opportunity.
Wouldn’t I be better off at home, watching YouTube? = Comfort
Come on, I slept well last night (I like to sleep a lot), go out and meet people! = Opportunity
I’ve had a blast at the weekend, 2 hours on my phone, then I sleep = Comfort
I’ve had a blast at the weekend, I’ll sleep straight away and tomorrow I’ll get up to read or write. = Opportunity
Obviously, nobody is perfect, and certainly not me, we all have better days than others.
But once again, it’s a state of mind.
Little everyday tips: at the end of the day, ask yourself “would I be happy to relive the day I’ve just had?”
If the answer isn’t “yes!” then what would you want to change?
In the end, the only thing you don’t want to have is regrets.
